i dont know how long more i can take this.
it's only first week.
it felt forever.

the only relaxed time i had is when im up in the air.
flying.
apart from that,
im torn inside out every single day.


fund management
meal plans
AFTER DINNER PLANS
sports/exercise plans
big functions for everyone
duty during work


im really torn right now.
but all i can do is just bite through.
it is ALL IN A MESS.
nothing is going according to plan.
even when going to bed,
i cant even sleep in peace.
fearing any moment when i wake up,
new problems surface again.

yeah all these issues.
and i still have to study for my flights.
honestly, 90% of time doing misc stuff,
10% of time for studying.
and the 10% is well past midnight.


and as of now,
i cant even type all these in peace.
i honestly worked for 7 days, 20hrs a day.
trying to be a "firefighter"
take it in, take it all in
cannot afford to give up.
not after the first week.


i miss home.
hmm... actually no,
back home it is also bad.
idk what i want in my life anymore.