finding ways every weekend to keep myself occupied

sounds pathetic?

well sometimes.

gradually catching up with people in my life.

people i care about. 

people that were once part of my life,

and still is at this point of time.

thanks to some reminders,

i remembered how i was a grumpy guy when i attended camps.

the grumpy me, the me that dont function like normal without sleep.

those were the days uh . 

it was when you had expections of yourself and others,

but things dont go the way you are.

some anger could solve the problem.

how i wished anger could solve problems now.

still glad a part of me was still the same as before.

not able to function well when i have lack of sleep.

it is true.

grumpy when i dont have enough sleep.

i realised i showed different sides of me when im with different groups of friends.

the grumpy side of me (unknowingly)

the nonsense-non-stop side of me

the think-too-much side of me

the quiet side of me

the political side of me.

the adventurous side of me.

no one probably know all the sides of me

and i probably dont show it all

just a little bit here and there when im with different people.

idk.

even i dont know myself at times.

if i were to judge someone like me, 

it will be pretty hard to do it too.

i dont love my life now,

but neither do i hate it.

i like it somehow, 

although at times it's not healthy.

not physically, but psychologically

just  a little bit of alcohol and i will be my honest self again.

yeah i like the honest me.

the honest me when i dont have to hide my opinions anymore.

because the more you hide,

the more situations get more complicated.

just imagine using more lies to cover up for more

never ending.

and i believe honesty goes a long way.

but how much honesty is enough.