my total stress + tiring wk finally ended.
so i can say tat now its my break =)
WOOOHOOO~~~
1st thing.
ever since monday.
i came back frm sispec.
i am dead tired.
tuesday was screwed up.
same goes for a lot of days.
cos basically i lost my keys.
and almost lost my thumbdrive.
and lack of slp.
but well~
i managed it =)
took a lot of funny funny pic along this week.
2nd thing.
celebrated sb birthday just now.
his 21st bday.
hes 1 old guy LOL
yea mayb he cant see tis.
but happy birthday to my bro.
since sec 1.
after today.
i got a lot of things i seriously want to say.
seriously its been a long way.
i told myself everytime.
to countdown frm my p5 camp.
to see how long i lived since then.
it has been a long 7 yrs.
and till today its still counting down.
i entered nchs at 2003.
i tot i regretted it.
but as time goes by.
i adapted to it =)
my biggest family since was NCC.
and it still is.
it all started from 37 ppl.
all totally not sure abt 1 another.
we started our training.
CLT ryan was in charge.
we suffered.
i admit i slacked.
i was not the perfect cadet.
sometimes i feel inferior.
cos alot of ppl just proves to be better.
but at tat time.
all my mind was.
i mustnt retreat out.
if others can do it.
so can i.
and so tats how it goes.
sec 1 2camps.
pulau ubin and changi.
experienced the time of our lives.
we lived together.
we suffered together.
i tot at tat time we were so dumb.
for no reason kanna bullied.
but we dont make noise.
Mr Eric Koh was supporting us.
he made us believe in him and ryan.
and so it goes.
we reached sec 2.
it became more intense.
orienteering competition.
our platoon compete.
before tat.
we ran together.
carried 4 1.5L water bottle.
ran outside sch, 17 floors and down 2 times.
run in punggol park for as long as 2 hrs.
with the bottles in our bags.
junjie was my partner.
we motivated each other.
cos we want to win.
and to keep up with arian and sb.
and many others.
we did it.
and we continued to try.
although nv get in the team in the end,
but yea we worked hard.
we experienced it.
we accepted it.
we did not win orienteering tat yr.
kind of not fated to win.
and of cos.
we did drills.
owe officers countless pushups.
did countless.
i always slack a bit.
sometimes feel like crying out.
but i know.
and ryan keep reminding us.
we will appreciate 1 day.
so we hang on to it.
we marched together, got scolded.
tot the world was coming down.
we suffered bad.
demoralised.
and pulled back up again.
i rly respected the 1 man, ryan.
not long after, yr 3 came.
we are sec 3.
training to be specialists.
we did a lot of shytty things.
nothing anyone can ever imagine.
i dare to say.
we did no other ccas could have done.
not even npcc.
we worked our way in the anniversary parade.
me and junjie got parade marker.
we trained command shouting at the worst case scenario.
but i rly wanted it.
we all wore sgt rank and above.
we were proud of it.
cos we nv dreamt we could wear it.
i got staff rank due to my post.
i did my best.
together with jj.
i did not want to disappoint ryan.
and he keep emphasising on us.
telling us over and over again.
we must work together.
no matter where we frm.
wad class we frm.
we are 1 family.
we believed him.
we treat ourselves like brothers.
cos deep down, we know we suffered together.
enjoyed together.
pushups neverending.
teaching of mutuals neverending.
but we learnt thru it.
we enjoyed the session.
studying at tat time dont seem important.
cos we had ncc.
soon spec cse came.
we entered.
all 37 of us.
we pulled thru.
as a whole platoon.
we supported one another.
encouraged each other everyday we meet.
to walk into hq together.
we felt the closeness like never before.
me and sb got awards.
but to us.
we worked for the unit.
and we want to make history.
so we went back sch.
i was as usual working.
but the time was coming closer.
time to take over the unit.
who to take over we dont know.
we were told to show our best.
we tried.
and i can say.
i wasnt the best candidate.
but i tried my best.
and when i got my desired post.
i was totally happy and delighted.
cos it was like a dream come true.
others did not give up.
we worked as 1.
cos we want to show the sch.
we may be academically lousy.
but we can make the ncc unit up.
all the way to gold for 1st yr.
we became sec 4.
we trained the young 1.
at the supervision of ryan.
i can tell tat he still was unsure bout us.
cos we are too soft.
cos we are all along under shelter by him and mr koh.
but we learnt thru.
and we rly benefited.
i rmb 1 time when we were scolded by mr koh.
we were damn sad.
but we kept silent.
i was thinking,
we worked so hard for the unit.
but y mr koh still scold us?
when we go back to pltn.
for the 1st time.
i cried in frnt of my part C.
i dono y.
it just came down.
at tat time i rly felt i want to make things right.
i am dedicated.
i want them to learn from us to be better.
since then, we pushed the unit.
to the limit.
until the day we stepped down.
i rmb alvin,
he was always complaining.
he cant scold the part A.
they too innocent, and he scared they cry.
for a guy like him, it will seem hard to control.
but he did.
and most of us did.
we did it.
and we successfully hand over to the nxt batch.
i could not forget tat.
that is my ncc life in sec sch.
after this ncc camp.
i realised this unit is not like before.
ther is bonding, fun.
but theres no common identity.
current sec 4 i trust them.
current sec 3 make me disappointed.
i jsut scolded everything out today to them.
cos i dont want them to learn the wrong thing.
of how to backstab ppl.
especially to each other in pltn.
i felt they dont have the determination.
and the willingness to help support ncc.
theres no special feeling for ncc.
its like they came just to show how good they are.
i told them off.
i couldnt take it.
y cant they be like us?
i am a perfectionist in some area.
and in this area.
so i wanted them to learn.
so now i tell myself.
as long as i am in this unit.
i will make everything hold on.
and go up.
its a promise i promised ryan.
when i came back as a CLT.
i want to make an impact.
right now, i am still trying.
i may seem slack at times.
but i do care for ncc.
cos its my family since sec 1.
when i was still fresh.
it taught me values.
no 1 can ever teach me.
i made best buddies.
i found my confidence.
its my life.
from there i learnt how to be nice.
to my own parents.
i quarrelled with them when i was sec 2.
cos i was too rowdy.
but nowadays, as i grow old.
i understand y i must treasure them.
they are my only kin;.
that will love me and care for me.
without any condition.
my mom, my dad, my sis.
they are the only 1 in the world.
and in this life.
i love them.
i heard before.
ppl change over time.
i disagree.
ppl may appear to have changed.
especially for my age grp of ppl.
but in actual fact,
we only change our way of presenting.
but deep inside.
we all are still the same.
we cant turn evil overnight.
we cant turn selfish overnight.
cos its inside us.
i tried to be selfish.
but i always failed.
i dono y.
sometimes i just want to make things right.
but it doesnt.
cos i am too soft.
but thats me.
so wad i can do now.
is to find an answer to everything.
and do things if i think its rite.
cos i believe.
i seen thru quite a lot of things.
tat makes me think i can make things rite.
its a nite of recap for me.
i miss the young times.
the sec sch ncc times.
i still am afraid of ryan.
cos hes the man who changed me.
and the rest of the platoon.
my best platoon mates ever.
2003 - 2006. 1st batch nchs ncc.
ryan graduated frm OCS not long ago.
they are my buddies.
jx. jason. sb. arian. wk. jor.
we are there for each other in the 4 yrs.
=)
i miss my old life.
i want it back.
everything.
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