this is my 100th post.
and i must say.
i hate this day.

thats it.
i really think.
THATS IT.
today meeting.
was a fucked up 1.
i duno how explain.
but u can obviously notice the tense up situation.

1st.
the spreading.
i admit its lousy.
and need to change.
i agree.
and the way to change it.
ok i agree.

2nd.
management way of doing things.
i not really inside management.
so i dare not say.
but now.
seems like ...
argh fuck it.
i dowan say.

3rd.
this is the 1.
i was promoted .
along wid wk and sid rite?
i KNOW sure will got ppl say.
i KNOW.
at the meeting wid the seniors .
i KNOW sure will gossip.
but then.
seems like they putting blame on us.
as if we are desperate for the rank.

FUCK OR WAD.
CCB.
I REALLY HATE THIS MAN.
OK WAN SAY OK I ADMIT.
I NOT DESERVING.
BUT NEED TO SAY UNTIL I IS WANT GET THE RANK SO BADLY.
DEN DO THOSE THINGS JUST FOR THE RANK ??
U ALL THINK I DOWAN REMAIN AS IT IS ?
FUCK LA .
CB LA.
U ALL SAY WE SHLD KNOW THE CRITERIA BEFORE GOING FOR SUCH PROMOTION.
I KNOW.
I KNOW!
BUT I SAID LIAO RITE.
NOT I WANT IT.
MY BOSS RECOMMEND.
DEN I WANT REJECT.
TIO SCOLD.
I ACCEPT.
NOW LIKE BEING DESPISED.
WTF IS THIS ?
SAY THINGS LIKE.
"WE DOWAN QUANTITY S/CLT. WE WANT QUALITY."
"IF U ALL WAN TO EARLY PROMOTE, WE SENIORS LAST TIME 3 MONTHS CAN PROMOTE LE."
"WE FOLO CENTRAL TRADITION. OIC SHLD DO STH TO PREVENT THIS CASES."
NBCB.
U KNOW WAD I FEEL?
U ARE SAYING WE DON HAB QUALITY.
U ALL THINK WE ARE LIKE THE REST OF THE MIA S/CLT.
ONCE WE GET RANK WE DISAPPEAR.
DEN SAY UNTIL WE DARN DESPERATE.
DONO HOW WAIT 1YR DEN PROMOTE.
NOT LIKE U ALL.
DON BLAME ME IF I SAY.
ITS DC WHO NV SET THE RULES PROPERLY.
BUT WAD U WAN ME DO.
TELL DC DON PROMOTE ME NOW.
SURE I CAN DO TAT.
DEN LATER BOSS KPKB WID HER.
DEN BLAME US AGAIN.
CB.
I HATE ALL THIS.
MIGHT AS WELL NOW U GIMME THE RANK.
I THROW IT AWAY.
U ALL WANT IT NOT?
I SERIOUSLY FEEL LIKE DOING IT.
now i saying all these out.
not becos i hate ppl say me a bit i not happy.
is becos.
i hate the way.
i was sandwiched.
and no 1 even cared.
fuck all these politics .
fuck all the seniority.
fuck all the things.
FUCK THE WORLD.
NCC.
No Cockup Cannot.
and it makes me sick.

so now i really confused.
nxt week rank presentation.
i am supposed to go get.
if i dont.
mr koh sure say a lot.
den central gossip again.
den i take.
i dowan wear in frnt of the seniors.
in their eyes.
we are just like useless.
thats how i feel.
i really feel like just shutting their mouth.
by doing sth impossible for them to see.
just let them shut up.
show them the quality.
not quantity.
so what i from NCHS?
1 thing i know.
i do nothing wrong.
i will shut u all up.
yea thats wad i will do.

god damn hq.